The Survivor´s Guilt

I lie in bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, but my stillness conceals a turbulent interior. My traditional Palestinian dress is my memory, identity and connection. It is my piece of home I carry while living far from it. Each stitch holds the weight of belonging, yet also underscores the distance I feel from the world around me. 

Inside me, contradictions swirl. I survive while others struggle; I bear the quiet guilt of being unable to act, of watching life unfold from afar. I navigate spaces that constantly misread me, where belonging is fragmented and identity feels measured against expectations I didn´t choose. 

My painting captures that tension: survival intertwined with guilt, heritage intertwined with displacement, stregnth intertwined with fatigue. Every detail, from my posture to my gaze to the embroidery I wear, reflects the knot of emotion, memory, and selfhood that I carry alone and inevitably.